Browse code

Clean up some phrasing based on feedback

Colin Childs authored on 18/10/2016 06:10:34
Showing 1 changed files
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@@ -16,10 +16,9 @@
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     <list>
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       <item>
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         <p>
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-          Your internet activity, including the names and addresses of
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-          the websites you visit, will be hidden from your Internet
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-          service provider and from anyone watching your connection
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-          locally.
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+	  Your internet service provider, and anyone watching your connection
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+	  locally, will not be able to track your internet activity, including
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+	  the names and addresses of the websites you visit.
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         </p>
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       </item>
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       <item>
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@@ -43,7 +42,7 @@
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       is exited or a <link xref='managing-identities#new-identity'>New
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       Identity</link> is requested).
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     </p>
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-    
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+
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     <!-- XXX: ask Tor Browser team/mikeperry about things that are worth
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     adding here. -->
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@@ -60,9 +59,9 @@
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     <media type="image" width="600" src="media/how-tor-works.png" />
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     <p>
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       The image above illustrates a user browsing to different websites
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-      over Tor. The green monitors represent relays in the Tor network,
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-      while the three keys represent the layers of encryption between the
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-      user and each relay.
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+      over Tor. The green middle computers represent relays in the Tor
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+      network, while the three keys represent the layers of encryption
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+      between the user and each relay.
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     </p>
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   </section>
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 </page>