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more clarifying work throughout

Roger Dingledine authored on21/09/2013 11:33:11
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@@ -23,11 +23,11 @@
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       </div>
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         <div class="subcol-container clearfix">
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           <div class="subcol first">
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-            <h2>What is Tor?</h2> <p>Tor is free software and an open network that helps
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-            you defend against a form of network surveillance that
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+            <h2>What is Tor?</h2> <p>Tor is free software and an open
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+            network that helps you defend against traffic analysis,
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+            a form of network surveillance that
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             threatens personal freedom and privacy, confidential business
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-            activities and relationships, and state security known as <a
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-            href="<page about/overview>">traffic analysis</a>.<br>
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+            activities and relationships, and state security.<br>
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             <span class="continue"><a href="<page about/overview>">Learn
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             more about Tor &raquo;</a></span></p>
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           </div>
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@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@
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           connection from learning what sites you visit, and it prevents
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           the sites you visit from learning your physical location.
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           Tor works with many of your existing applications, including
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-          web browsers, instant messaging clients, remote login, and
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+          web browsers, instant messaging clients, and
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           other applications based on the TCP protocol.<br><span
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           class="continue"><a href="<page getinvolved/volunteer>">Get involved
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           with Tor &raquo;</a></span></p> </div>
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@@ -61,7 +61,8 @@
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                 <a href="https://tails.boum.org/"><img
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                 src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Tails.jpg" alt="Tails Icon"></a>
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                 <h3><a href="https://tails.boum.org/">Tails</a></h3>
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-                <p>Live CD/USB distribution preconfigured to use Tor safely.</p>
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+                <p>Live CD/USB operating system preconfigured to use
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+                Tor safely.</p>
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                 </div>
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               </td>
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               <td>
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@@ -94,7 +95,8 @@
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                 <a href="http://www.atagar.com/arm/"><img
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                 src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Arm.jpg" alt="Arm Icon"></a>
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                 <h3><a href="http://www.atagar.com/arm/">Arm</a></h3>
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-                <p>Terminal application for monitoring and configuring Tor.</p>
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+                <p>Terminal (command line) application for monitoring
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+                and configuring Tor.</p>
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                 </div>
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               </td>
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             </tr>
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@@ -141,7 +143,7 @@
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               src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Cloud.jpg" alt="Cloud Icon"></a>
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                <h3><a href="https://cloud.torproject.org">Tor cloud</a></h3>
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                <p>A user-friendly way of deploying bridges to help users
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-               access an uncensored Internet.</p>
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+               access the uncensored Internet.</p>
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                </div>
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                </td>
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             </tr>